2000-12-26. Sick of it all, and sickly in love
=======
Welcome back... Greetings and salutations...

I hope everyone had a smashing weekend... It's a strange thing. I've been sick as HELL since Friday. Simply fucking miserable, yet I had such a great weekend. Three days of Alyx was simply too dreamy for words... It makes me angry, thinking about the first two weeks we spent together, because, as great as they were, and as much as I knew I was falling for him. I don't think I appreciated that time as much as I would now. I'm always amazed at the realization that I DO truly love him more and more every day.

I felt really bad that we didn't really do much, I just couldn't leave the house unless absolutely neccessary. But we had a nice time in. I made it through Friday night. Realized Saturday AM, that even when you feel like dying, great sex will make you feel better, even if it's just for that hour or so. I called in sick to Rocky Horror on Sat. afternoon, promising to be there Sat. night. Managed to cut my cookie while shaving - sliced off a piece of important parts. OUCH. Don't EVER do that! Really. Take my advice. Alyx and I got a bit dressed up (I wasn't feeling well, so what I managed was difficult enough) and we set off to the show. While there, selling away, one of the ushers says to me (indicating Alyx across the way selling Audience Participation Bags - who looked hot at as shit, mind you), "I think I'd be too scared to buy something from that guy". I thought he was kidding, seeing as how he'd seen me with him earlier and I said, "That's my boyfriend!" "Yeah right" "No really, that's my boyfriend..." Alyx, coincidentally, sold almost twice as many as I did. *grinning*

So we watched the show, and yelled things and danced. Had a blast. The show was fucking great. If you're in NY and a Rocky fan, you must see it. So hot. so hot.

Then Sunday we rented movies and got groceries, including Christmas food. And even though I deposited several checks on Friday, my Nazi owned bank won't clear them till the end of this week, so we had barely $100 for this whole weekend. And It was troublesome when our grocery bill was 108...Grrr... But the cashier was actually very nice and was trying to help us out. I went to the ATM to see what was up, and the couple behind us went and I rejoined behind them, they go to pay and then BANG! Register went haywire... Ooops... I didn't mean it. They had to get under the inner workings and all that... Sorry. So we voided a few things and managed to get our food. And the moral of why I love Alyx in this story: He waited patiently for me to try and deal with it, not getting mad or huffy (and tossed me candy to ease the pain), and fully realized that my psycho magnetic witchy powers were what broke the register. He didn't think I was kidding. No one has ever believed me like that...

RANT: My stupid F*$@ing grocery store doesn't carry OreIda shredded hash browns OR any wine - Boone's Farm is the closest wine product they had... Bastards

So we watched Angel Heart on our new VCR (thanks parentals) and blah blah blah....

Cooked all day yesterday. My cassarole was a disaster (no hash browns - tried to use regular potatos hand shredded - came out like glue). Turkey was great, new zucchini recepie was a big hit. We combined dinners with Steve and Sandra and their clan. It was a bit more than we could take. Screaming children, barking dogs, whizzing remote control cars. My stress level was high over there. So we ate and exited.

I began to do the dishes, Alyx came to help before I even asked. We watched Barton Fink. Went to bed. So happy.

I wonder every day how I can possibly be so happy with someone. He's just so right. I took a few moments yesterday to sneak a peek at him painting the door. I could've watched him for hours. I get lost sometimes looking at him. Just completely appreciating him. His beauty, his strength.

I was 1 1/2 hours late to work. Too sick to get up... Sick of it all. I hate having to be somewhere I hate before Alyx leaves. That's hard enough, but to feel so crappy, and knowing it's your last week. And that it's below freezing out (it was 20 last night - ice on the *inside* of the windows). I don't take comfort in the fact that I have, after today, three days left. I see it as three days too long... Grrr. But I go to Florida for the weekend the 5th. Just one week too soon for Jodi's baby shower. *sigh*.

Movie coming up... That whole trip gets a whole other giant entry later... So many feelings...