2000-12-27. Actorland
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I thought I knew what I was going to write about. But I don't.

I had to go to the 9th floor *4* times today. That sucked.

My party is getting, like, no response.

I think my mail is being held hostage by the Uber-Landlord.

Maybe Alyx will be able to go out and have a drink with me tonight.

But, I finally found the cherry cordial in one of the Godiva boxes floating around the office... mmmmm...

I had an accomplishment today. I made a folder to put audition info and to log what auditions I go on, and so forth... When I start to go on them. I feel good about it. A little organization to clear my brain. I've felt ready to tackle the beast today. It's almost like I feel like I'm on the right track for the first time since being here. I read this essay on moving to LA, and what to expect, blah, blah. And I got to feeling like, yeah, I really am doing the right thing... As soon as this film is over, I'm gonna get some good new stuff on my resume. I'm so jealous of Mike. He's only been here 2 months and he's on his third project. He's busting his ass - it's not like they're landing in his lap, but I want something NY on my resume! I haven't done squat. No, I've had to rearrange my life - that took a few months, but I'm on the way... *exhales deeply*

Which I guess brings me to 'Gifted'. I guess I can sum up my feelings at this point as, um YIKES. I don't want to suck. I guess I feel like I'm jumping in to a rather large thing right off. I guess if Bob didn't think I could do it, he wouldn't have written it for me, but I feel like I haven't found her yet (my character). I haven't been in an acting class in what feels like forever. I've been in Shakespeare and children's theatre/teacher land for over a year. I'm REALLY glad for that week of rehearsal we're gonna have. I need to have Alyx start grilling me on my lines. (He said he'll be very happy to).Maybe that will help me feel like this is really happening and not this looming thing towering over me... Once again, I am just afraid of letting people down.

I need one of those mood rating thingys. Cuz I'm feeling SADISTIC today... Do they have one for that?

I also need to find out how to change my page. Make it pretty and stuff. I guess I need to get a computer first. For my home. I leave this job in 2 days (!!) and I will be lost in the land of no technology - not even an answering machine for gods sake!

We are simple folk.

I have to go now. I have to prepare myself to stand out in the cold and sell stupid programs to stupid people who don't want them. Annette Benning in coming. Tomorrow night, When I'm not working. Poo. So off I go. Ready to brave the city and bum around for an hour before work. Maybe I'll get drunk... Hehehe...