2001- May 17. The Princess I Know
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Sometimes I think of life as only being right now. The short, rather than the long. I think it's due to always being afraid of missing out, always wanting to grab a hold of the moment. I'm beginning to believe that that's not always a good way of thinking. That some good things will be there waiting for you, and if you rush towards them in order to not miss out, you'll miss out on other things that may not be there later on.

I have this wonderful friend who I've always thought was a wonderful friend, but because of my busy life I was not able to spend the time I wanted to with her. And when I got to, I seized it with both hands, sometimes, a lot of times getting me in trouble with my now ex-boyfriend!

Now I live way the hell up here, and I'm missing out on her first baby... I almost moved back after living here just over a month because I feared for her state during her pregnancy (she got pregnant just before I left - I found out officially at my goodbye party). She calls me to check up on me and visa-versa. She's always in my thoughts and I am always thinking about how I wish she were here. She's an amazing presence in my life and I feel like I've never got to have a *normal* friendship with her. I am jealous of those who have and they take her for granted constantly.

I just keep telling myself that someday we'll be sitting around together watching our kids play, drinking wine and this time away will not even matter. We'll watch our old show videos and laugh about the time when little Eric ran across stage with electric tape on his dick during the show and I was his accomplice and she'll yell at me again, just like it was yesterday.

If my mother's best friend from high school can by random chance move a few hours from my mom 25 years later, I think we can find a way to settle near each other.

And by then we'll be loaded anyway so we can hop on our personal jets to see each other even if we aren't close.

Those are the thoughts that get me through the times when I miss her a lot... Like now.

So, Princess, if you're by any chance reading this, I just want you to know that I plan on always being around. I love you and miss you. I can't wait to see you again. I hope it's soon.