2001-08-17. things you can't say to mom
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I leave tomorrow (well, technically today) for Orlando. My flight is still going to be there (Midway filed for Chapter 11 two days ago!), and I now have the correct airport of departure. My intinerary says "Departs New York, NY". Then in small letters below it says "Airport: Newark". HELLO! Newark is not in NY - it's in Jersey, there's a big difference. No wonder they're restructuring. Whoever does their internet reservations needs to be fired...
My mother is pissed at me because I *can't* drive with my sister to Daytona for the afternoon on Sunday to see them. I told her Jodi is the one paying for my time - I can't just take off for the whole day. I had thought my parents were coming to Orlando for lunch, but once my mother gets how she wants it to go in her head, there's very little changing that (I know, I'm the same way, it's a genetic defect). So now she's mad. She thinks it'd be *easier* for us to come see them at the condo. They're leaving the condo Sunday afternoon anyway, so an extra hour to Orlando would be no big deal.
She's convinced we'd rather drive a total of two hours after both of us have been flying around the country to sit around a pastel-puke room with overdone seashell designs *and* go swimming for an hour or two, than eat at a nice restaurant for the afternoon and talk there. We also think she's determined to see us in a state of undress mearly because somewhere deep down she knows we have tattoos... Grrr... I know, I know, you can't hide it forever, and I'm 23 years old, and ALL that - but I don't want her to see it until it's been touched up, so that it looks it's finest. (It healed up badly - bad aftercare advice). I want to hear as little crap as possible.
I just want a stationary, relaxed, weekend of whips and partying.
This was my favorite part of our conversation. I told her, in regards to my schedule for Sunday, that I'd have to discuss it with Jodi, since she's that one who's paying for my visit. My mom said "I'm sure Jodi will understand." Mandi's inner monologue:"You don't know Jodi."
And I was right, Jodi was like, "No fucking way!!"
But you can't tell your mom that, now can you. You can't tell your mom a lot when it comes to the Anti-Babe...
-But mom! Jodi and I are so close! We had our twats in each other's mouth!!
-I really can't miss Sunday there mom, my whips and hot wax for the fetish show will be left unattended.
-No, we'll be too busy recovering from/taking LSD.
-I was really hoping for that day to touch up my tattoo and maybe get my lip pierced.
-Sorry I'm late to the beach mom! I misplaced my nipple tape and was busy getting the chocolate pudding out of all my folds where chocolate pudding could give you a chocolate infection after wrestling in it.
Hmmmm... No.
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I also am fucked for an apartment. The one I was hoping for fell through, but I have a line on some cooky chinese girls place in Queens. We'll see.
I don't even know excactly when the people who live in our place are coming back. Ummm, important.
Anyone got a sublet available?? We're two steps from a youth hostel! Seriously.
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My friend Tim Yost called my the other day. Turns out he lives in Mike Dressel's neighborhood and has since October when his Visa ran out. Hello? He didn't even know we were here, and we thought he was still in Australia... Wierd. New York in *not* such a big place, really.
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My boss's apparently like me and want to bump me up a buck or two an hour and get me some more work around the office!! Rock!!
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Does anyone remember Siffil and Ollie on MTV?? God I miss that show... We started watching it for the sole reason that Siffil (the green sock puppet) was my exboyfriends cousin. Then we discovered that it was awesome and watched it like maniacs... Yes we slaughtered young nubile girls during every show bathing in their blood and entrails... ;)
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So, I'm not sure how much I'll be poating over the next couple of days. I'm going to try to do my best.
Blessed Be!