2000-12-13. Advice on living
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Past advise to a dear friend...Sometimes I just need to save the thought, and I figure I'd share here. Situations which reveal identity have been removed.....

It really sucks when you get what you want and it's not making you happy. You need to find what needs altering, what's dragging you down and fix it. If that means going to LA, do it. I had thought moving to NY would make me

happy, but it's sucked a bit. But now that Alyx is here, I feel a support I needed to get shit done. I feel much better. I knew I needed some support to fix a seemingly flawless plan that totally blew up in my face. If it sounds

too good to be true it probibly is. Sometimes you just don't find out till it's too late. So figure out what you need, even if it's something simple like poker night with the guys, no theatre, no films, just friends hanging

out. Or maybe you need a hug once and a while. So call up someone who can go out with you to a movie or coffee every once in a while and just be a chum. I had to drag my broke ass to go hang out with friends when they called me before Alyx was here. But I knew if I din't go and hang out I'd feel worse than if I had saved the money. I've decided that yes I need money, and maybe beer or wigs for Halloween are not the wisest purchases on a budget, but every once and a

while, once a week even, you need to do something for you, for your sanity. Something that makes you smile. Things will happen as they need to, take care of your artist first. If your artist ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! If

this job looks promising - do it! If you think you should stay, do it!! The one you think about favorably more is probibly the one your inner psychic is telling you do. The answers are there - STOP EDITING! :) I always say that it sometimes just takes someone simply telling you you can do it to realize that that's what you want and that you actually CAN. It's a fear of failure that keeps us from doing. Don't give in to fear, it's never the right answer.

Fear only thrives when you let it. Be impulsive, do what you feel is best, no matter what people say. And if it's wrong, well, you deal with it. At least you know you tried and are making the best of a whole new situation. I guess what I'm trying to say is, do what will make you happy. The people you care about will support you. Figure out what you want most and make it happen. Be where it can happen.

Blessed be...