2000-12-14. Maudlin BDay To Me
=======
It's my birthday today... Why do I feel so crappy... I woke up this morning hearing the rain and realizing that the rain was INSIDE...

"the windows leak a little" he said...

Alyx is sick. I was too selfish to hold him and comfort him.

it's my birthday...

I burst into tears on the street in line for the ATM for no reason... Scared him a lot...

crying now. why?

Is it true that sometimes, even when life is good, your soul needs to cry?..."The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving"... that made me cry, too.

People actually are remembering. That makes me happy. I am happy. I just feel like the little black raincloud in my apartment this morning.

I want to shake this. i want to be my normal crazy, cheery self. I want to run and cartwheel. maybe I will anyway...