2000-12-20. Snackfood and Ranting
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Gulp.

Sorry. Typing with my mouth full.

I'm gorging myself on cookies, chocolate, candy and sweets. It's obscene the sight around here! I'm not kidding when I say that there is candy every 5 feet. If there's a table - snacks are on it. There were about 10 bags (large gift bags) of Godiva chocolate waiting to be picked up at the front desk. I know I saw about 5 already on desks around our area. I mean I love it, but it scares the backs of my thighs. I know I can't go on being skinny forever without some consideration for what I eat.

But I'm so hungry...

RANT:

A: (you know who you are, cuz you're the only A I know of who reads this!) It kills me to hear what I'm hearing... Now, I am not one to belittle or to devalue your feelings. What you are feeling is totally valid and justified. HOWEVER, all that aside I just want to say a few things here. 'Said Ex' will always have a place in my heart for the times she makes me laugh, the fun she's been at parties, etc. These things will not and have never changed the fact that I think she's a very selfish, pampered, reactionary, attention seeking brat a lot of the time. I've been fucked by her actions directly or indirectly quite a few times. I've known her as long as the two of you were dating (albeit not as well as some - I kept a distance for fear of being scorched) and from the moment I met you, I thought about what a lucky girl she was to have such a wonderful guy. Then I thought about what a patient saint you had to be to put up with her for so long and to always be so sweet. (I'll never forget the day you popped into my Garden Botanika and told me about your frustrating search for white roses)

You see, you are a giver, and she is quite possibly the biggest taker I've ever met. She's also beautiful so she falls into a category of women who has probibly been spoiled and pampered by everyone because of that. It's always infuriated me. I see that trait in pretty girls all the time. I also see how people react to pretty girls all the time. They excuse their actions and bad behavior for some reason, like their entranced. (Do I sound bitter?)

So of course she's going to call you for help, because you've always given it to her. She knows you are a person who not only will give her help or listen, but that you will do it well. You'll do it until you yourself bleed . Believe me I know. And the blood loss hurts and never fully rejuvinates.

Like I said, I would never want to belittle your feelings, or make you feel like you shouldn't be grieving. Because you should. You gave a lot to that relationship and to her. To have it all pulled out from under you is gonna hurt when you hit the ground. I just wanted to say, well, I don't know what exactly I'm trying to say. I guess just that I love you, you rock and girls suck... I've been tryin to snag a good one for a while. It's too hard. Just find a good boy. ;)

And as far as whatever happened with the lil' redheaded one (cuz I don't really know)... It makes me angry... I can't deal with immaturity sometimes, and she's got a long way to go I think.

Grrr...

Well I need to go. They're sending me upstairs...again.

As someone very wise once said to me:

"Forgive this rant"