2001-03-06. watching the blizzard
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Has it been a long time, or WHAT?? But hey! Guess where I'm writing from?? HOME!!! Yeah! How exciting. Now don't think I hit the lottery or anything, oh no, certainly not. My mother just managed to find a new power pack for the stone aged laptop she used to have for work. So it may take many minutes to reach a site, but I have some access to the world now.

soundtrack: Covered in Nails - NIN tribute album... trying to drown out the LOUD bad 80's coming out of Scary's apartment next door (I WISH I could place the name of the bad chick singer to paint a clearer picture)... Alyx broke into her apartment the other morning to unplug her CD player... It started at 7 am - we had just got to bed an hour before and were having trouble getting to sleep - coming down. And loud crappy ass techno starts up 7 AM! After about a half hour I go over and pound on the door. No answer. We lay there for about an hour before Alyx gets pissed once the CD starts skipping. Her's do that a lot. He's is banging on the wall, her door, puts a hole in the wall - oops, oh well, it's a loft, we don't have to fix it. So it's skipping for about half an hour, we figure she's either coked up/shot up and passed out, or she's left. Either way - shitty. So he breaks in - she's not there - and unplugs it. An hour later, she returns, and cranks it back up for 2 more hours... Bitch.

Well. We haven't paid rent yet. We don't exactly have it yet. This sucks. We'll have most of it as soon as Alyx gets his fucking check from the job he just did...Grrr...

We've been talking about it. Our lease is actually up May 1st. We were going to renew till December, so we could save up and move to LA. But we seem to be drowning here. So we may try to get out of here when our lease is up. That's just so much money to save up in 2 months. I mean, we'll need cars in LA... Yikes. I need to sit down and figure out how much we'd need to earn to be able to do it. The good thing is, our last months rent is already paid for, so we'd be able to save up more that month.

Alyx and I tripped the other night, as I mentioned above and he said some shit about us and our future and all that, that, well, made me really feel good. I worry all the time that he's gonna find someone much cooler, hotter and all that. He tells me I'm crazy. Apparently while I was gone he met some girl who was what he used to imagine as his dream girl. But he said he realized he wasn't interested in her. So that's good.

I guess I worry because I realize that with Pauly, he loved me so much, and I feel like I didn't do such a great job being there. It's not my fault, sort of. I did what I was capable of, and he made shit really hard for me a lot, but I worry that karma is gonna get me - "Love this one tremendously, and invest everything in it and get burned!!!" I KNOW that's not the case, I guess I'm just accutely aware of how devistated I'd be if he left me so I think up all this stupid shit. Does anyone know what I'm talking about????

I didn't see Pauly the whole time I was there. I wanted to. I was gonna call one day, but I realized I didn't have his number. Oh well. Whatever.

I did get to see a couple people in amidst the business. Andy popped by for a few, I don't blame him for not coming back, It was a kooky night. I wanted to go out with him and Amanda the night before, but I passed out drunk before he got there. Ooops. I was bummed.

Erin came over. That was cool. I saw some people on the set, too, which was fun. The best was Josh Chiet. It was so much fun having him around. We went out to lunch, too, with Emily and Brad. Had sushi. Mmmm. It was great. He's getting married in November and I told him I'm gonna go as long as I have two cents to my name or room on my credit cards for plane fare. I'm really happy for them.

So, the work situation SUCKS as usual. My temp agencies are still sucking ass. Turns out my rep at the one I felt was the most promising, QUIT. Last week. I've called 3 times, and I just found out. And as I thought, one of my other reps wasn't getting the messages that I'm available. Such shit. I interviewed at Nicole Miller yesterday. It's a clothes boutique. Mostly eveningwear, nice stuff. It went well, I guess. I think I was not quite she-she enough for them. It's probibly no good being on the computer right now, seeing as how I sent about 20 resumes out yesterday, so I guess I should sign off...

This is terribly long anyway...

Oh yeah, and I have my dog back. It's nice. The snow drifts are taller than her... He he...