2001 - June 29. I know, I know - Godot never comes...
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I'm still unemployed. No one wants me. Well, that's a little untrue, I got hired to come for a trial day for an environmental watchdog group, you New Yorkers may know of them - NYPIRG, they do a lot of heafty shit for NY, but it's a commission situation, door to door kind of thing. The hippy in me said "Hooray! Helping to save people from the government and toxic waste!", the goth in me said "NO! 4 hours in the sun every day!", the lazy fuck in me said "4 hours walking every day??", and the realist in me said "Umm, how long before you will actually start earning anything?". So I didn't go. I feel like such a loser. I'm going to end up in a strip bar. I need lots of money soon. My temp agency is no real help, and I'm trying to pack all of our shit into storage right now and we go away for 5 days next weekend, so the job scene is ugly right now. I even applied at Barnes and Noble...I don't know.

But, we went and saw the Depeche Mode concert!!!! SO much fun!! They didn't play anything past 86 which kinda sucked and the crowd was really pretty annoying - all fans of Personal Jesus and Enjoy the Silence. They were sitting during some of it and chatting with their other dumb friends from other rows. But I however was so very happy. They sounded great, they seemed happy and the jammed a bit on a couple of songs. So happy, so fun.

We move into the sublet we got next week, it's only $900, then we go to Florida/Virginia (such a complicated description of why FL *and* VA, I won't detail it here - just leave it at money) for this wedding, which is just a problem every time we turn around. Nothing is simple about this trip and I'm trying desperately to not let it affect my attitude while I'm there.

I'm tired and broke and feel like I've been gutted. I just want to get to LA and get a steady job and have a real apartment and stop this whole feeling of spinning tires. Am I crazy to think that will happen?