2001-07-18. Sleep needed soon...
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And here I sit. 2:40 am. Been working since 11 am. Got about 4 hours sleep and all I've *eaten* tody was two slim fast shakes - no sensible dinner for those who couldn't get a break to go find food with $3. sigh.

At least I can sleep all day tomorrow - till work at 8 (till 4 agian).

I feel a bit tiny tonight. For those of you who don't know, *tiny* is my favorite word to describe when I'm feeling just that. Small and quiet. Not bad - just tiny. If you really think about the word tiny you get the feeling.

I'm also feeling very dumpy looking. I packed my blowdryer into the storage unit so my growing-out-hair is perpetually looking like poop, and I can't muster the energy for makeup, and today a tee-shirt was the best I could do. I hate when I get like this, and I always do whilst growing my hair out - but this time I really mean buisness because I'm so sick of this game. I'm sick of a lot of games right now.

Did I mention that Alyx and I had our one year anniversary on Thursay? It was wonderful, thanks to him. He made dinner (with my *diet* in mind) of scallops, fried tofu, cheese and fruit and crakers and raw veggies and dip. Complete with Champagne and Chartreuse - our favorite! And this godlike fruit tortes (not so good for diet - but whatever). Yum. And we ate out on the roof of the ajoining building with a candle and the stars (and our little dog under our bench, of course) - oh and the mexican kids who live on the floor above us staring out their windows at us the whole time *what are those crazy gringos doing??*. We were going to take a ride on the Staten Island ferry, but time got to be against us, so we just did other things that were more immediately satisfying...

But as usual I turned into a blubbering mess over all this (dinner was a complete surprise - me crying - not so much a surprise) while listening to him tell me so many things I'll just keep for me...

*~*~*~*~*~*

So Here I Am. At work. I finished the almost 3 hour task of sorting all the different tickets for each night which were in a big ol' box - I thought I'd never finish. I was convinced that they were just like Gremlins, but you couldn't count them after midnight... They just seemed to never go away. But now they're done and I'm almost blind. And the music is not so great anymore here. It was good earlier.

And it's wierd - the office is right behind one of the bars and one of the DJ's, so through the AC duct I can make out a clear word or two from conversations and it's awful. I love eavesdropping on people. Hearing about their lives or whatever dumb shit they talk about. I find that when I sit and listen to strangers from a distance I can really get frighteningly good idea about them, going off all the physical AND the concversation. I like to imagine about their lives or what they do and who they are, but mostly WHY they are like they are, full of distrust or sadness. But it's a horrible tease here.

I love being an actor... I miss performing... It always cheers me up... It's like crack...