2002-07-05. feeling so, so alone...
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The sadness comes and goes... It's here today. Need to start the apartment search... Again. I hate it. I just want something to happen. I don't know what. I have so many things to do and not enough means to do them. How I'm gonna get a deposit together for a new place is a mystery. I debate on giving up on my relationship a lot lately. It hurts to think so, but I'm hurting already in it. He says he loves me still, but I believe him less and less the past few days...

Our *anniversary* is Friday. 2 years. Ugh.

Melissa wants to her friend to move in with us, too. I'm conflicted. Less money is certainly what is needed, but I've never met her and am not so sure I want to live with 3 people and 3 pets. Well, 4 if you count Melissa's hamster.

Maybe when I get my haircut this weekend I'll feel better. At least then I feel a little prettier. Which is always nice.

I want to go home and I still have over two more hours left.

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