2003-04-07. Why, sometimes, having friends sucks
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This is so fucked... This was what I had to deal with today:

Jezebel: OH MY GAWD!!!! I cant wait to see Pirates of the Caribean: Curse of the BLack Pearl....it stars Johnney Depp!!!!!!

Me: i know :]

Jezebel: Oh I jsut watched the Trailer....Oh Johnney Dep with a pirates accent *swoons*

Me: mmmm

Me: nimmy

Me: *nummy

Jezebel: Yeah I wish Fray would speak Japanese to me more often...certan accents make my knees all jelly

Me: hehe

Me: I'm trying to take up a lil collection for Boogie - his car got towed while he was hanging out with alyx Friday and he had to spend his headshot money on getting it UNtowed :/

Me: so if you have an extra 5 bucks or something - we have another couple weeks before the headshot sprecial runs out

Me: *special

Jezebel: well...I'd love to but I need to find $ so that I can get my meds that Ive havent taken for several days now

Jezebel: which is bad

Me: :/

Me: yeah

Me: I thought I'd mention it since you are friends with him, too

Jezebel: and sorry to say but eating and getting my meds is kinda high on my priorities right now

Me: yup

Jezebel: and the fact that he was a rude asshole on my LJ didnt help....thats why I erased everyone and made it so no one could post

Jezebel: because of him

Me: why? what did he say?

Jezebel: oh it as the last post i made about "anyone give me a reason to smash your face in" and he responded in some flippant like Fuck u statement

Jezebel: I dont remember...but I wasnt poting as a joke I was mad

Jezebel: and I dont like being fucked with when im upset...

Me: jez you are way too sensitive

Me: then don't post on LJ

Jezebel: I dont like joking

Me: you need to lighten up

Jezebel: honey if you really need to have a kid or slave or something cause you REALLY like telling people what to do with their lives...sorry I wont talk to you anymore ok?

Jezebel: see ya

Me: well stop fucking asking

Jezebel: I didnt ask you anything

Jezebel: I told you what he did

Jezebel: because u asked

Me: every single day it's solve my problems

Me: it's i'm horny I have problems and I listen

Me: and I try to be tehre

Me: *there

Jezebel: hey when you bitch I listen I thought thats the way it went...I dont ask you to solve anything

Me: oh sure

Jezebel: its fine u know... I have occasionally asked you what you thought

Jezebel signed off at 4:12:27 PM.

Jezebel: I have removed you from my list, ok...we dont have to talk except when forced to socialize and engage in social conversation.

Me: you know what jez - if you are that kind of friend then i don't want to be a part of your life

Me: because that's bullshit

Me: and childish

Jezebel: well when I ask what you think all I hear is these really negative nasty things about how you think i am...so what am i supposed to think?

Me: you ask - I give my opinion I never judge you I just tell you how I see the situation. Just because you have a low self image is not my fault

Me: I am not the bad guy

Me: I have done nothing but try and be your freind

Me: don't take your issues out on me

Me: I don't want to *fix* you or *control* you

Jezebel: This is why ive never had friends...they act like they want to be part of your life...but when you start getting deep and open up to them on the shittier issues in your life they dont want to hear it

Jezebel: or they tell you that your always negative

Me: i never said I don't want to hear it - why do always blame everyone else for your problems

Jezebel: well I just dont get it then

Me: I listen, you don't like my opinion and then it's MY fault? I'm the bad guy?

Jezebel: You know if you feel like I "vent" to much with you..Point taken

Jezebel: I will keep it to my self ok?

Me: I just feel that you tell me more than I need to know - more than is my buisness. And I never know what to tell you and when I say somthing, you always have an excuse or a rebuttal so I don't want to say anything anymore

Me: I am not here to fix your life - only you can do that

Jezebel: Yes I am sensitive...that is the way I am. Im sorry Im not all world hardend and caloused like everyone else...and when Im upset I dont like people fucking with me.

Jezebel: fine...TMI

Jezebel: I understand

Jezebel: sorry I pulled an Adrain on u

Me: it has nothing to do with being sensitive or calloused

Me: I'm sensitive, too... it's just a matter of give and take - and actually seeing and listening

Me: you just need to be able to let go

Jezebel: I will know now that those who are my friends are only tha...they way Ive known friends to always be in my life not really there or instrumental in my life

Me: what is that supposed to mean?

Jezebel: it means what it means

Me: oh that's a big help

Jezebel: that is the way it always has been

Jezebel: and so life goes on the same for me

Me: why do you think everyone is out to get you?

Jezebel: no no one is out to get me

Jezebel: they just really dont give a shit

Me: oh please

Me: that is such bullshit

Jezebel: everyone has their own agenda

Jezebel: and I find that it leaves little for others

Jezebel: Look all there is to be said is I will not tell you anythign since I dont know my boundries with you ok?

Me: you get what you give, but if it's given with the expectation of getting something in return - of being owed then why the fuck would I want it?

Jezebel: exactly

Me: whatever - you know you are blowing shit way out of proportion and it is funny that you and adrian got in that fight, because you really are the same inside

Jezebel: SO ive been told